Dear Cherished Heart,
In my last counselling session my mental health advisor spoke to me about my “parts”. When I get overwhelmed by feelings, it is usually because one or more parts are highly activated and giving me all kinds of not-so-true messages.
What she suggested is that I “parent” my parts. What do they need from me?
To the perfectionist – I see you and your desire to be the best you can be, but this is a road fraught with confusion, and trial and error. Even though you are 51 years old it is OK to make a mistake. When you make a mistake it is an opportunity for learning, and readjusting your sails.
To the wounded – Remember you are an emotionally sensitive being. Feeling sad and-yes-brokenhearted is the path to healing. There is no shortcut. But not everything need to be painted with the brush of sadness. Stop and smell the roses. Really. I know it’s cliché, but it is one thing you can wilfully do to get through this. Practice gratitude. Every. Day.
To the critic- Fuck off! I got this. I get it, you don’t see your way through all this lawyering, all this financial rigmarole, or all this separating. It is pretty uncertain. But I am good enough already-so please stop telling me I can’t do this or that. I can. You are clouding my thoughts with your nay-saying; I need you to sit in the next room and talk to yourself so I can get some clarity. OK? Good.
Be your best-mistakes and all.
Practice gratitude-every day.
I am good enough already. Seek opportunities and people who make this evident.
It is very hard work.
I do love pen on paper at times Cherished Heart. It gives me more than I realized I had.